founder’s journey to baby rainbow
i began my journey towards motherhood at 34 years old.
my husband and I immediately had our first child, a son, and thought we joined the “one and done” club. a year and a half later, we, like many, realized the blessing and gift we had been given to be parents and decided to grow our family. again, i quickly became pregnant, although i felt something was wrong. i had communicated my concerns with my doctor, but my ultrasounds confirmed we were expecting another healthy baby boy!
i was in the second trimester and we were excited to welcome and love another son.
i was not prepared for what came next.
i still had concerns something was wrong, but an ultrasound again confirmed i was carrying our healthy baby boy who had a strong heartbeat. that night, i awoke with intense abdominal pain and my husband rushed me to the emergency room. another ultrasound confirmed our baby boy was strong.
devastating news came when the on-call ob/gyn doctor arrived.
i was having a placental abruption and i had to deliver our baby boy and have a blood transfusion or i would not survive. desperately, i wanted to save our son, but he was too small to make it on his own. i delivered our son, tobias. his strong little heart beat for four short hours as we tried to give him a lifetime of love. my husband was the rock that little tobias and i needed.
support from my husband, family, and friends lifted my through the dark clouds to again see love and hope.
i also found a sisterhood of other women who shared the experience of infant loss. a loss that causes a heartbreak that never disappears and a wound that needs the love from our friends and family to begin to heal so we can continue down a path of hope.
surprise! i was expecting again.
my husband and i welcomed a baby girl into the world.
the celebration of life also came with a greater longing for tobias. my support system of friends and family surrounded me to lift me up. i received a gift for our sweet little girl, our baby rainbow. it was a rainbow colored newborn onesie that brought tears to my eyes. the tears came with knowing i was truly acknowledged in my feelings of celebration for my tiny girl and the grief i felt for tobias.
my wish is for every new mother who has lost a baby to be acknowledged in their time of celebration and grief.
the gift of baby rainbow speaks the words that are not there, but the message of support will be heard by your loved one that needs you.
as a member of the american couseling association, i am passionate about the mental health of mothers and a percentage of all purchases will support that need.
thank you for being on the baby rainbow journey with me and your loved one.
there is hope.
~laura rose
